I want to become a soldier
Date: 16-Sep-2018 Written by: FHI Kolkata volunteer Nabodita Ganguly
One of my biggest problem is, often I become extremely self centric and I have a tendency to stick to my comfort zone and never come out of it. That was one of the reasons why I joined an NGO named “Fly Higher India” to break my comfort zone and explore more.
This month we went to a school named “Ektara” which is near Science city and performed some activities for the children (there were fifty children of class 4).
After going to that place, the first thing we did was to ask the children to draw their aim in life. While the children were excited and adroitly started drawing about their bright dreams on a peace of paper; there was a boy with big black eyes named Ali Hussain who came to me and said , “Didi, I want to be a soldier.”
Somehow, his calm voice made me senile and I asked him why he wanted to be a soldier.
“I want to become a soldier because I love my country. I want to be a head soldier,” he told me.
“That is great, Ali. So why don’t you draw a picture of a soldier on your paper,” I told him.
“I am afraid,” he told me and held my hands.
“What makes you so scared, dear?” I asked him.
“I behave like a fiend when I am angry. I have no control over my anger and with each passing day I feel a restlessness and pain within me when I am angry. I try hard to control it but somehow I end up being more violent which hurts not only me but also my family,” he told me calmly.
Looking at him, somehow I felt helpless. We are all fighting our own battle with our thoughts, everyday and to overcome something; the only person who can help us is our trueself. Only we can be the warrior and fight our battle alone.
As a child, I lost someone I loved. Since then, there was a void within me and a restlessness which kept on growing.
“I feel I am losing myself,” I told my mother once.
“Why don’t you start writing? Words have a way to give you peace and happiness,” Ma told me.
Since then, I started writing and everytime I face a serious situation, it is writing which saves me and makes me a better person because words always have a way to create magic.
Looking at Ali, I told him, “Why don’t you start writing about your thoughts? I started writing at your age,” I told him.
“How will it help me?” he asked.
“Everytime you feel suffocated and angry, write. Write what you feel like and trust me after a few days you will feel better,” I told him.
Ali looked at me silently and started drawing two soldiers.
As the time of our departure arrived, Ali ran towards me and said ,”didi this is for you,” and he handed me his drawing where he drew two soldiers.
I looked at the drawing and patted Ali.
“You will be a great soldier soon,” I told him and smiled.
“I will start writing,” he replied with a big smile.